Yes i said it! It's not your hair its...YOU!!
As a natural hair stylist i run across this issue all the time. Am i mad??? Nawww. This actually gives me the chance to help woman see just how far they let their insecurities go and then how much they lack self-love. Once we get past that then i help them to see the beauty in their natural self. Most take it in and for some its a process.
This honestly bothered me until i realized that my calling is to heal, council, and support woman along this journey. I was actually to the point where i considered maybe not doing hair at all anymore and transitioning into another career. But i quickly got put into "place". This is apart of my journey and i embrace it. I started a powerful movement and it's my duty to continue it.
So...black woman, afrikan woman, or however you identify yourself i ask that you take some time to look in the mirror and just stare at yourself and your hair. Look at the kinks in your hair and the flexibility of your hair. There are actually people who would die to have that. You can wear it up, down, curly, bouncy, or straight. Now tell me just that alone isn't AMAZING!! Now look at yourself. Look deep within and figure out what's going on internally that makes you blame things on the external (your hair). I challenge you to slowly start reprogramming yourself from that way of thinking. Tell yourself "I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM AMAZING, I AM POWERFUL, I AM HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, I AM UNIQUELY MADE AND I AM CONFIDENT IN MYSELF". Let that sink in and feel the energy flowing through your body.
I recommend that you do those statements everyday and you will see the shift in your mind. You can even come up with your own statements to add to those.
So the next time you go to sit in a salon chair or do your own hair don't complain. Because, 9 times out of 10 it's not your hair...it's YOU.